I was hoping to get this post off before the regular season
started, but that didn’t happen. That
said, I have yet to watch any regular season games or highlights but have been following headlines on Yahoo and NBC. And even then,
they only focus on a handful of teams, i.e. the most popular. So the following predictions have not been
really influenced by anything that has happened in the regular season thus far and in
fact, if anything, have been buttressed by them. Outside of those handful of teams, I don't know who's won or loss yet. And the records you see below are from the preseason, not the regular season.
ATLANTA HAWKS (4-1)
There isn’t much to see here. They may overachieve again, you know, make it
to the First Round type shit. But in the improved EC, it isn’t as likely.
Dudes got bullied out the building last
postseason and, instead of bulking up, may have gotten even smaller. It’s obvious, at least to me, that they aren’t
really trying to win or if anything aren’t under any type of win-now
pressure. And it’s all good, if dudes can
preserve their health until whenever the roster becomes more formidable.
JALEN JOHNSON
Can once again be an allstar, considering that there really
aren’t any other on the roster
BOSTON CELTICS (4-0)
Yes, I was feeling salty about the whole Jaylen Brown thing for awhile. And based on conventional logic, you wouldn’t
expect a team to willingly part ways with its best player and then try to
compete for a championship the following season. So I was like yeah, fuk the Celtics.
But when I really started looking at their roster, I noticed that they had depth across the board and therefore shouldn’t be hastily written
off, even tho, you know, I’m not on their dicks like some other pundits. But Derrick
White, who’s arguably their best all-around player, isn’t a spring chicken,
nor is the undisputed alpha, Jayson Tatum, nor is Brown’s replacement, Paul George,
nor is their biggest free agent acquisition, Mitchell Robinson. So I mean, yeah. With
that in mind, it’s more understandable why they gave Pritchard that contract.
There’s going to be a lot asked of him.
BROOKLYN NETS (3-1)
The Nets have looked pretty competitive in
the preseason, definitely not like pushovers. The roster lacks
starpower but is rich in young dudes who, in theory, should be able to
run older teams down. In fact, they're the youngest team in the NBA.
So let's hope they can at least use that to their advantage.
JULIUS RANDLE
Please try to stay in the post, where you're more needed, like damn already
CHARLOTTE HORNETS (1-3)
I have high hopes for the Hornets. They have a deep, talented roster, which honestly I can’t remember them possessing since like the 1990s or, you know, last season.
You always hear people talking about ‘the Sixers need to sacrifice, with all their talent’. That’s truer
for Charlotte’s roster, even if they aren't as talented, especially when it comes to the point. No use letting LaMelo "the Travel Agent" Ball go if you’re just
going to replace him with another chuck.
CHICAGO BULLS (3-2)
Damn, I almost forgot about the Bulls, like deadass. I'm anticipating they'll be a good watch at least. It's bug like to this day, when this team is mentioned, the first thing to come to mind is Jordan.
And that rookie dude, Caleb Wilson, the one time I did watch him play looked kinda smallish on court. So I don't know if the onus they're putting on him is really realistic at this point.
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (1-2)
With teams like the Cavs, who I’ve criticized a lot in
recent years, I don’t want to be redundant and sound like I’m bullying. I’ve already been saying that one of the things
they appear to lack is favor from on high, and I recently came across a
conspiracy theory, concerning last season’s ECF, which supported that idea. And you know, if that is the case, I don’t
think the Beard is the type of player you bring over to solve it.
Oh well. At least we can say that, roster-wise, Cleveland has
done an expeditious job rebounding post-Lebron.
They haven’t remained in obscurity into virtual perpetuity, like the
post-Jordan Bulls. So I’m sure we’re
looking at another noteworthy regular season, concluding with another postseason
flunking, tho I think this year’s
iteration may have a worst record than last. Peyton Watson may be the type of starting 3
they’ve longed for. But now, what about the bench?
DALLAS MAVERICKS (1-3)
I think Kyrie is more humble than a lot of people give him credit for,
like other proven superstars of his caliber would never agree to play on a
roster like this. I now doubt even Flagg’s
status as the next great white hope can save this team, considering the Lakers new
makeup.
It's sort of a strange situation like okay, Irving is not on the new timeline. But concurrently, this team lacks talent compared to competitors and clearly needs him. I think Adam Silver and them more or less killed tanking, so it isn't as logical to intentionally be garbage anymore.
DENVER NUGGETS (3-2)
I feel sorry for Braun, in that he's entering this season with arguably the worst contract in the league, and that'll be pointed out at every opportunity, of which I'm presuming they'll be many, especially if he remains a starter. DeRozan should definitely, undoubtedly get the call over him, but Denver's braintrust isn't always that wise. They're the committed types, though at least not as bad as the Warriors.
DETROIT PISTONS (3-1)
A couple of weeks ago when I listed the plethora of contenders in the East, the Pistons sorta slipped my mind. That Duren
situation was a big mess, but it seems that they've since moved on. I
don't know the intricacies of everything, but considering how sharp he
looked in the preseason, I'm thinking that maybe dude shoulda just
signed for a couple of years, three at most, instead of a whopping five at that price.
Anyway, Detroit does have a couple of advantages over its competitors. Off the top of my head, I'd say they have a higher degree of continuity than any other team in East, besides maybe the Magic. And unlike any other squad in the entire league, they have an identity which arguably dates back 30+ years.
But still, all
things considered, for some reason I can't fully explain, it's easier not to believe in these dudes than to believe in them to win it all. Playing musical
chairs every offseason without noticeably upgrading isn't moving the
needle, unless the core develops better than competitors.
JOHN COLLINS
One of the better acquisitions of the entire offseason
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (4-2)
The way I feel about the Warriors, by this point, is that
they overbelieve in Curry. That said, I
also felt that way a few years back, i.e. 2022, and they proceeded to win a championship. And like, if you must have faith in anybody
in the NBA, it’d have to be Steph.
But, you know, dude isn’t Lebron. And even if you’re going to keep him around,
okay, at least put him on a roster that’s like respectable without him.
That said, I can totally envision this team making noise
if healthy, which is a big if, and I can also understand why they’d pay to
keep Draymond around, all things
considered. What I can’t understand
tho and why they gave dudes so much money, clearly cognizant of the fact that the rest of the
roster needed better fleshing out.
Maybe Lebron snubbing them is like symbolic of how all stars currently feel about GSW, so why not just blow the money? The Dubs had their dynasty, but they aren't super-popular like the Lakers.
KRISTAPS PORZINGIS
They're now trying to trade him, lol/smh
HOUSTON ROCKETS (2-1)
The Rockets may be lacking size compared to some
competitors, but they have everything else, arguably in abundance.
The big question is if a leader can emerge, not a diva or a chuckin’ PG,
but someone more level-headed who can run the show and make the pieces fit - potentially Amen
Thompson, all things considered. And
see, this is the kind of confusion you have when you already have a promising
roster but insist on infusing it with legendary talent that it may not
necessarily need. You know, this ain’t
like when dude went to the Dubs.
KEVIN DURANT
Needs to get off his high horse, but that isn’t likely
INDIANA PACERS (1-3)
I’m definitely glad Haliburton is back but like, I don’t
know. But that said, no one, including me, really believed
in this team a couple of seasons ago. Yet they were on the verge of winning
the championship and maybe even blowing OKC out, at home, in Game 7, until Tyrese got
hurt.
But now, at least to me, he has
sort of that PG13 vibe about him. Like
everytime I’m watching, I’m afraid he’s going to slip over a banana peel or
some shit, and there it goes.
LA CLIPPERS (2-1)
One thing you have to give to the Clippers is that at least
they have pride (tho, according to a couple Lob City stars, aren't particularly loyal). And despite having
arguably the least-impressive roster in the West, I don’t think they’re going to be
anyone’s pushover unless, you know, somewhere along the line they get
demoralized.
DARIUS GARLAND
In position to be an allstar yet again
LA LAKERS (2-3)
I’ve been Laker bashing so much these past few years that now
I’m gonna chill out. But just to note,
my beef hasn’t been with the players, even GM Lebron per se but really the
braintrust, you know, who have more authority and make the actual roster
decisions.
That said, as I pointed out a short time ago, well, I won’t
really get into it here. But let’s say
that with their new racial and political makeup, LAL is in a position to
benefit from even more rigging, if you will, than they have traditional.
Kessler 12-for-12 in his debut? Lol. Okay, he went 10-for-10 in a game last year. But still, that performance yesterday is kinda shocking, or let's more aptly say convenient.
So I'm expecting them to win more games than
their talent and depth imply, and you know, that wouldn't be the first time that's happened to LAL in recent memory. But maybe, Luka really is that guy(?).
MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES (3-1)
Well, at least there’s some buzz again. And they have a promising, up-and-coming
roster which, you know, isn’t as newsworthy as it used to be, now that tanking
has been outlawed.
These days, unless
you can pull an OKC and overachieve sooner rather than later, a promising
lineup is more likely to fall apart after three years than remain intact. That was even true before, when you look at their team from 2022 for instance. So here's to hoping that dudes can at least make some noise.
MIAMI HEAT (3-2)
The Heat are one of my sentimental favorites, and yes, I do
feel they have enough talent to make the Finals, even with their balance issues. The onus, in a strange
sorta way, is actually on Andrew Wiggins, the man smackdab in the middle of the starting lineup, and that’s actually fitting or karmic,
considering he’s the only number one pick on the roster. So to me, considering his past and all, he's already the scapegoat if things go wrong.
NICK RICHARDS
Another x-factor, if he wants to be
MILWAUKEE BUCKS (2-3)
The Bucks have always been one of the
more obscure teams, to the point that now, that championship from a few
years back feels increasingly like an anomaly, I feel kinda sorry for
dudes, as I incepted the Dame trade tho am pretty sure I also intimated in the
process that they shouldn't get rid of Holiday. Anyway, that move more
or less began the chain of slapping them back down into obscurity. I
was kinda excited about this team before the preseason began but as it
currently stands have little to no interest in watching them, you know, unless they're upsetting dudes.
KEL'EL WARE
Let him be the cornerstone instead of trading him
KEVIN PORTER JR.
Surprised he got cut, but they also did the same thing to Cam Thomas (which was less surprising)
NEW ORLEANS PELICANS (3-1)
By this point, the elephant in the room is Zion. And it’s funny how things work out sometimes
because at first, it was like he couldn’t stay healthy. But now, it’s like his health is okay, yet
dudes still aren’t winning and don’t seem particularly likely to pull off a
miracle.
If he suffers another major injury, it may be time for NOP to cut their losses and let Williamson try his luck elsewhere. Or, you know, they can keep him around into
perpetuity and at least maintain the starpower.
NEW YORK KNICKS (1-4)
All things considered, I understand why NYK decided to run
it back. If it ain’t broke(?), then
don’t fix it.
But with Robinson
gone, amongst other factors, they may have lost or minimized their wembyproofing. And those
other factors include, oh shit, dudes haven’t gotten any younger.
I’m an Anunoby fan, even before that tip-in,
and wouldn’t mind seeing him make allstar. But he isn’t necessarily aging
gracefully in NBA terms.
And to me, that’s the elephant in the room with NYK - their
age. It can be advantageous sometimes
against younger teams, if you play bully ball right. But if, for instance, the powers-that-be did
favor them in Game 4, as many people believe (and which I prolly would’ve done
also if I were in charge, for like the biggest celebrity crowd in NBA
history), they shouldn’t expect to receive that kind of grace two years in a
row.
I'd say now that their ace in the hole - i.e. the one who has yet to exhibit his
full potential on this roster and the player that really pushes them over the edge, all talent considered - is Mikal Bridges. So here's to hoping that
they'll develop a strategy to give him more room to show out, i.e. force
him to be a number one option, if you will.
BRUCE BROWN
Too bad, but you can’t airball a gamewinner during the
preseason lol
JAMES WISEMAN
All things considered, greater opportunity now than with the Dubs
OKC THUNDER (1-4)
Last season, to my remembrance, I picked the Thunder to win
it all, you know, since Haliburton was hurt.
And, well, at least they made it to the Game 7 of the WCF.
But I have to be honest with my conscience and pick
them again. But that said, even the
greatest teams have their kryptonite.
The Jordan Bulls really would've had a big problem for instance if somehow they met the Lakers in the 1998 Finals.
OKC’s kryptonite last season, with out without Wemby if I
remember correctly, was the Spurs. But
as I said about a month or so ago, I do believe Holmgren will come back more
focused after being exposed like that. Also yes, I do believe that Mara, the rookie,
can prove a sound extra layer of wembyproofing, at least in the interior.
I can also envision a couple of teams out East, most
specifically the Wizards and Heat, potentially besting the Thunder in the
postseason. But for now, I'm going with OKC as champions.
ORLANDO MAGIC (3-1)
The Magic have kinda grown on me, and I think Vucevic can
prove to he one of the most impactful, slept-upon acquisitions of the offseason. Their talent and depth doesn’t jump
off the page, but this core has more or less been together what, even longer
than the Pistons? And they also have
the advantage, if you will, of not being under as much pressure as other
Eastern Conference teams.
PHILADELPHIA 76ERS (1-3)
It's hard to really feel confident
about the Sixers. If this were still the smallball era, it'd be easier
to say they'd take the East, but it isn't. So basically
when they're up against bigger teams, of which there are quite a few
these days, the strategy is apparently going to be outgunning them.
That may work in some instances, but not all.
For instance, Andre "KFC" Drummond was reportedly having a field day against them before "running out of steam". On the low, he's still one of the better Cs in the league. That type of size, no man can take from him. But he's on the older side, and others Philly face will have more energy.
Also, even when he isn't GMing, having Lebron
presents its own set of unique
problems. We're once again faced with this situation where he's
arguably the best passer on the team, while concurrently being the
healthiest bigman. But you can't play the point and the post at the same
time(?).
Oh well. I've always questioned why the Sixers have been so adamant in paying Embiid
so much money, considering his persistent injuries. But the funny thing is, based on the above argument, even
with this stacked starting lineup, the onus is very much on him.
VJ EDGECOMBE
Should feast with the attention on everyone else
JOEL EMBIID
Should be looking at this as his last season (as a starter)
PHOENIX SUNS (1-4)
The Suns are sorta the NBA epitome of 'the more
things change, the more they stay the same'. This org has adopted the
run-and-gun style for more or less 20 years going, even though it's
never won them shit. Oh, wait - they did make the Finals once this
century, when they fielded a roster bookended by a traditional PG (CP3)
and a traditional big (Ayton). So yeah, I can kinda understand why the
ownership is still salty post-KD. But if anything, they should be blaming themselves for blowing up that roster to accomodate him.
DEVIN BOOKER
Should start thinking about demanding a trade
JALEN GREEN
Scary, in both a good and bad way, at the point
MARK WILLIAMS
More or less the onus or at least the team's greatest rarity, in terms of size + talent
PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS (3-1)
This is my sleeper pick of the West, not to make the Finals
but to at least finish fourth place, maybe even higher
with some luck. The roster makeup may
not be perfect, but I would argue it’s the best or deepest Dame ever
experienced in Portland. And you know,
that’s how aged superstars are supposed to go out when they’re loyal to a
franchise, with as little onus stress as possible - not stuck on some bottom
dweller, like LAL did to Kobe. Also, having Holiday and Lillard together are what the Bucks were supposed to do
instead of getting rid of the former to acquire
the latter.
ROBERT WILLIAMS III
Needs to have a renaissance season
SACRAMENTO KINGS (0-5)
Damn, like how are they the only team to lose every preseason game this year? Fukin Kings.
I was looking forward to watching Ben Simmons reestablish
himself and… oh well. Now,
finally, I would agree it’s time for dude to retire from the NBA.
Also, I kinda feel sorry for Acuff Jr. because first of all,
I would venture to say that no consensus lottery pick would
actually want to go to the Kings. And secondly, dude already has so much
Scootish pressure on him, and that isn’t fair with a PG and especially one drafted by such an ass-backwards
organization. This is the kinda team NBAers
are supposed to be stuck on when no one else will take them.
ZACH LAVINE
May reestablishes himself as an allstar(?)
SAN ANTONIO SPURS (2-3)
A couple of days ago, the league's GMs or coaches or whatever voted Tobias Harris the biggest acquisition of the offseason. I don't feel that way. Did dude even play in the preseason?
My beef isn't with Harris but the fact that the team didn't really need another stretch 4 but rather someone more imposing in the middle. I was thinking someone more lebronish. Or even Kawhi, who's smaller than Tobias, would have been preferable in that regard.
Meanwhile their main competition, the Thunder, has gotten bigger. The Spurs did just draft a few bigs, and I'm presuming that at least one of them is going to get real playing time this season.
That said, if the powers-that-be did gyp them in Game 4 versus the Knicks, then all things considered I think it's safe to say their time will come sooner or later. And they're like my second-sentimental favorite though more likely, again all things considered, to win than the Wizards.
TORONTO RAPTORS (2-3)
If
healthy, honestly I don't see any reason why the Raptors can't take the
East, tho the bench is gonna have to step up. Out of all of the
smallish teams out there, they're best suited to take on bigger squads
defensively. That's the Kawhi factor, and they better make things click fast, because dude is aging, and he ain't exactly what you would call an ironman.
UTAH JAZZ (3-1)
Damn, almost forgot about the Jazz. I did watch them play once during the preseason, and I mean, well...
They have formidable veteran bigs and good diversity. But the young dudes in the backcourt are going to have to really show out for this to work. And considering they are the Jazz, one of the most obscure teams in the league outside of a brief run in the 1990s, it's kinda hard to believe in or even remember them.
WASHINGTON WIZARDS (2-2)
Go, Wizards! Remember how these dudes were getting their asses bust last year? No one is going to be dropping 80pts on them again anytime soon!
They are
my sentimental favorites for 2026-27, even more than the Spurs though, all things considered, I wouldn’t
bank of them immediately winning it all, whether they have the talent or not.
But here’s a couple of interesting things to think
about. They’re arguably more wembyproof
than even OKC. And AD, if he remains
healthy - which I know is a big if, but
still - wouldn't he be like the best C in the East by default?