2026 NBA Offseason Grade (Southeast Division)

ATLANTA HAWKS: C-

The Hawks were the feel-good team of the East last season, holding the sole distinction of being the only squad to win two games against the Knicks in the postseason.  Even though no one was really expecting them to win the series, the energy was really positive - right up until Game 6, when dudes got their asses bust so thoroughly that it's amazing they didn't break out in tears on court.  Even the braintrust and owners shoulda been crying about that shit.

Usually, when you have a promising team lose like that, the offseason goal is to prepare themselves to face the same nemesis the next year.  And that's where Atlanta has totally failed.  What they needed to counteract a squad like NYK is size.  Yet by the looks of things, there isn't a single notable big on the entire roster.  I understand why maybe they didn't want to hold onto Kuminga or Risacher.  But damn, what was the backup plan while sacrificing that height?

The Hawks are also one of those teams who, unfortunately for them, are still stuck in the smallball era.  Their biggest offseason acquisition was Lu Dort, i.e. one of the many OKC players who got nephewed by Wemby.  Logic would dictate that his perimeter defense will help a bit against a wing-heavy team like NYK.  But as other squads in the conference have bulked up, you know, it's doesn't really look like Atlanta took a step forward.

CHARLOTTE HORNETS: A

I really like what the Hornets have done this offseason, moving past the streetball era.  When the best scorer on the roster gets ignored during the postseason, something has to change.

By the looks of things, the moves they've made, most notably getting rid of LaMelo Ball and taking in Naz Reid - hasn't really impressed pundits.  But the way I see it, that was borderline perfect, with dudes like Knueppel and Miller on the roster, deserving more shine than a player like Ball would allot.  All this team needs is the right kind of player(s) to run point, i.e. dudes that won't chuck, which now they apparently have.  They may not be contenders yet but are on the right path and should at least make the playoffs proper(?).

MIAMI HEAT: A-

The acquisition of Giannis felt really good for about two days, until Normal Powell decided to bounce, after Miami had already parted ways with Herro and Jacquez.  That shit sucked the air out of me for a moment.

But at the same time, it's like no excuses because, oh sh*t, Giannis and Bam are on the same team, buttressed by Wiggins, now giving the Heat the best frontcourt in the league, over Philly, OKC, NYK or whoever.  Or, something like that.  No other contender with a big frontcourt is better suited to defend both the post and the perimeter.

The rest of the roster may leave something to be desired, but it isn't that bad.  The acquisition of an inspired Klay Thompson will likely prove huge in some cases, and don't forget he and Wiggins were championship teammates in the past.  And the best thing about it is, if any braintrust can make it work, it's Miami, though you would imagine they may pickup another notable G during the season.

ORLANDO MAGIC: B

Okay, so when dudes went out an acquired Desmond Bane, even though they needed a big more, the logic was that the following season, i.e. this offseason, they would upgrade the frontcourt.  And well, if you consider Vucevic a difference maker, I mean he has averaged a double-double cumulatively throughout his career, though, as with his recent stint in Boston, it isn't likely he's going to be getting a lot of touches surrounded by the Magic's chucks.

Indeed, after committing to Bane, it's like they no longer even had the dough to chase a more noteworthy big.  But again, it ain't like Vucevic is a bum, as much as it was the Celtics not really valuing his presence.

Also, remember last season, the Magic took the Pistons to seven games, if I remember correctly, even though Franz Wagner was injured, and imo they would have won the series if he wasn't.  So I mean yeah, progress has been achieved, I guess, though the downside is that the braintrust, by committing so much money to Franz, having forced themselves into a position that their fate more or less lies in his iffy health.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS: A

This isn't purely an offseason grade but considering all the moves the Wizards have made since February.  Not only do they now, all of a sudden, have the best mix of young and veteran stars in the league.  But also, more than anything, the roster is actually compatible, with a number of options that can be mixed and matched, if the coaching staff is worth its salt.

Last season, too much of the onus was put on young, unproven players.  This coming season, opponents are going to have a hard time keeping up with them, while simultaneously counteracting the vets.  Dudes have like 10 rotation-worthy players, which is something most teams cannot boast of at all.

The only thing that can fuck it up - and why I didn't want to rush to give dudes an A+ - is (#1) if AD goes diva and demands a trade and (#2) if Trae Young chucks, as is tradition.  Young has averaged nearly 9 assists throughout his career but is still deemed as someone who doesn't pass the ball enough.  And as for AD, you know, as a 7-footer, he doesn't like to play inside.  But with Sarr and Ayton also on the roster, I guess we can just finally love Anthony for who he is, tho pairing those types is probably going to leave something to be desired in terms of perimeter defense.

CONCLUSION

In any event, you have to give it to the Wizards for recognizing that we're no longer in the smallball era.  There's other teams in the Southeast who, by the looks of things, it's going to take them awhile to really catch on. 

The Heat may appear as the only true contenders in the division, but don't sleep on the Magic, if healthy, despite their lack of depth.  The Wizards are also the sleeper team of the entire Eastern Conference - remember you heard it here first.  The Southeast may have only one A-list franchise, but I'm looking forward to at least 4 out of these 5 squads making the playoffs.

Free Steve Ballmer

First off, let me say that I'm not an expert on the Aspiration scandal, nor would I probably ever be, as I now have limited interest outside of hoping that Ballmer and co. are able to get their punishment - "the harshest penalties in league history" - minimized.  This isn't something I really care to do deep research on, someone else's dirty laundry.

When I was kid, my moms used to be like 'keep your nose out of other people's business', and that's kinda how I feel in this case.  I know none of this stuff is really private, like looking in someone's window.  But still, there are some fundamental, let's say preliminary questions that I'm still having a hard time, in my own limited wisdom, processing.

WHY PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

This question is aimed specifically at Pablo Torre, the journalist who broke the story.

Now, let's be frank.  If the Clippers really do end up having to pay $30mil(!), besides Ballmer and a couple of high-ranking executives being suspended (without pay), besides the team losing five 1st round picks(!), you have to presume that some rich, powerful people are going to be pissed off, maybe.  I've already speculated that if Kawhi was getting money under the table, Ballmer must've been receiving some too.  So maybe he'll just take it like 'okay, I jacked the money, so let me pay it back, no love loss', even though the penalty exceeds what's reportedly been paid to Kawhi.

But if not, I would believe that Torre, if he's wise, will be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.  And I mean okay, he's a journalist and an investigative one, obviously.   I remember once reading something like, out of every profession where a person doesn't put his life in direct danger (like a cop, fireman, etc.), journalism is the most dangerous.  So there are inherent risks, which of course Pablo is cognizant of.  But that brings me to my second question.

Why, as a journalist, out of all the things to potentially put your life on the line for, would it be a professional athlete receiving money under the table?  Like, aren't there more pertinent conspiracies going on?  What about forced vaccinations and AI and datacenters and shit like that?

What I'm imagining is that maybe dude is a superfan.  You know what I mean?  Like the implication here, from what I can gather, i.e. the rationale behind not allowing players to receive money in roundabout ways is because then richer teams can enlist someone, say they're paying them one thing but actually giving him more.  And that would adversely affect the organizations with less money, obviously.  So if that kinda shit becomes pervasive, there goes the parity.

If Torre feels like that, okay.  If he's, say, a Raptors' fan and is like 'hell no, we could've kept Kawhi if not for that Aspiration sh*t', then okay, I understand.  But if not, I mean yeah, I'm kinda wondering why he was compelled to blow up the spot.

You would have to presume he did it in the name of professional advancement.  But that said, Tim Donaghy was a more ethical whistleblower, if you will.  He exposed something that affects everybody, not just some single, already rich dude receiving extra dough - but how players and fans alike were being gypped.

BALLMER ALREADY F*CKED UP ANYWAY

So okay, Uncle Dennis and all considered, what's being implied here is that LAC wanted Kawhi, but he wanted more money than they could legally offer, so they tacked on the Aspiration deal.  If that's the case, it can be said that Steve Ballmer has already been punished because, oh shit, despite that extra $20mil+, the team still sucked.

In fact, the Kawhi + PG13 + plus eventually Beard experiment has promptly gone down in history as one of the worst superteams ever.  And, double-oh shit, Leonard missed almost half the games during his tenure with the Clippers.

They didn't like super suck but were mediocre as all damn.  Meanwhile, Kawhi didn't contribute to winning in any type of noteworthy way, nor was he present consistently enough for fans to feel confident they would see him if they bought tickets.

Please Mr. Silver, Ballmer has already been punished enough.  Why would you pay an extra $20mil+ just to make the play-ins?  LOL.  But maybe, the NBA knows something I don't.

KAWHI LEONARD - YOU HAVE TO LOVE TO HATE HIM

Since we're on the subject of Kawhi, let me get this off my chest.  The first year I've begun watching the NBA was in 1991, the postseason to be exact.  I remember because that was when the Bulls won their first championship.  They beat the Lakers and then, a week later, Magic was like 'I have HIV'.  Talk about excuses.

So now, 35 years later, let me say there's only once I ever got emotional upon a player leaving a team, and that was when Kawhi forced himself out of San Antonio in 2018.  Now let me say, I'm definitely a fan, but I don't necessarily favor Leonard or the Spurs, not like that, that I particularly care about their transactions more than anyone else's.  But the reason this bothered me, even more than Kawhi playing diva (which was the rage circa 2020), is that he singlehandedly destroyed the greatest dynasty in NBA history.

Up until that point, the Spurs were the only organization, again in NBA history, to be considered contenders for 20 years straight.  And that's besides their reputation of finding diamonds outside of the lottery and developing them into superstars, like Kawhi.

So let's imagine, even if Leonard had stuck around, San Antonio still got Wemby.  After all, they did get Duncan with Robinson already on the roster.  This would have now been the fourth decade straight they were contenders.  It was Kawhi leaving that broke that streak, even though dudes were still kinda competitive after he bounced.

And I mean, in hindsight I definitely get it.  He wanted the full Lebron/KD treatment.  I didn't fully appreciate his disgruntlement at the time, but more recently, I came to empathize.

Kawhi won Finals MVP, at age 22, after only three years in the league, over a prime Lebron and D-Wade.  Let me repeat that - over a prime Lebron and D-Wade, and dude wasn't even an allstar that season.  Btw, Wade also has the distinction of winning Finals MVP in just his third season.  But it ain't like the team he was up against, the 2005-06 Mavericks, were super.

Kawhi remained with the Spurs a few more years - eventually reaching undisputed alpha status - but never won another championship with them.  However, he put doubters to rest when he replicated the feat, i.e. leading a team to the mountaintop, with the Raptors.

Leonard's stock was higher than ever, and if I remember correctly, the Raptors were in a position to pay him more than anyone else.  So all of that considered, I understand how Ballmer may have thought he was worth an extra $20mil+.  

So presumably, the reason we don't see Kawhi consistently mentioned in the same conversation as Steph, LBJ and other undeniable greats of the day is most likely due to injuries.  All of these injuries he's suffered since going to Los Angeles, if they're really real, I would have to imagine is some kinda karma, because after Toronto, he was truly on his way to being considered an all-time great.  And what is fate punishing him for?  Sh*tting on the Spurs, of course.

Or as a wise woman once told me, 'it's not what you ask for but how you ask for it'.  If you felt the organization was undervaluing you, okay.  But deserting your teammates and shit like that, especially when you're the best player on the team, isn't a good look.  It ain't like dude was a free agent, like, say, Lebron when he left Miami.  Kawhi was just like 'fukit, I quit'.

So yeah, I do believe sometimes that the powers-that-be aren't too fond of dude and perhaps don't want him to become more influential.  But I don't believe those feelings have anything to do with the Aspiration probe per se.  But if you have to stick to anyone for doing something grimy, why not Kawhi?  This is yet another strike against his legacy.

CONCLUSION

Dear Commissioner Silver, yeah, we get it.  Lebron, the most-popular player in the NBA, just signed a deal for only $4mil/year, and by gosh, that's all he's gonna get.  We can't have organizations going around, circumventing and shit.  The struggle for parity is real, and there will be casualties.

But that said, in this case, who really gives AF?  By the looks of things, the Clippers already shot themselves in the foot, paying an extra $20mil+ for a player who, as far as I know, hasn't won jackshit for the franchise.  If that is solely the case, then this has to rank amongst the dumbest braintrust moves in NBA history, which is punishment enough.  We don't want to see dudes (continue to) suck for the next five years.  What are you trying to do, turn them back into the Clippers of old?

2026 NBA Offseason Grade (Pacific Division)

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS: C

Some people say that the Warriors had the worst offseason of any fan favorite, but I don't wholly feel that way.  They're not lying when they say that if Butler is healthy, he would make a huge difference.  If he returns in form, that should instantly thrust the Warriors up to the same consideration of at least the Rockets.  This is the most 'what if they were healthy' team in the league.  Remember that Porzingis is an all-time injury great.

Their rookie, Yaxel Lendenborg, won the most notable summer league.  Those kinds of accomplishments don't really tend to make a difference in the long run, but better some good news than none.

The above grade does not take into consideration that the Dubs (if they're still called that) quote/unquote 'missed out on Lebron James'.  The "C" represents the fact that they're already a good team (on paper), who have decided to stand pat.  But they need miracles of sports science type shit.

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS: B

All things considered, the Clippers should dedicate at least one entire season to testing Kawhi as the undisputed alpha.  In a way, it's like he never truly had that position in his entire career.  The sad thing though, if they are forced down that route, is that the braintrust didn't use this offseason to specifically build a team around him.

One thing you have to respect about this franchise is that they never tank.  Even when it looked like Leonard was leaving, they were dedicated to competing in the present.  The roster may be mediocre and nonprogressive, but they aren't approaching the season like pushovers.

LOS ANGELES LAKERS: B+

In terms of roster additions, the Lakers' offseason hasn't been inspiring at all.  I'd rather pair Jaxson Hayes with Luka than Walker Kessler.  But they did the best they could, I guess.

But if they had known, for an entire year and a half, that the plan was for Lebron, their best all-around player, to leave town, why weren't they better prepared?  'Oh, but we did prepare. We've been working on the Walker Kessler deal for the last 18 months'.  That sounds like an executive who wants to be replaced by AI.

But this is what I want you to also to keep in mind.  During the Trump era, the Lakers have now become the whitest team in the NBA, besides establishing a familial relationship with the White House.  You do the math.

They still need to work on star power though, which makes keeping Bronny around, despite whatever, more logical.  And if they get to flunking again, the 'Re-Trade Luka Movement' is going to start soon.

PHOENIX SUNS: C

Miles Bridges is a fine addition who should make this team more entertaining, but he doesn't solve their problem of too much iso.  Replacing Chris Paul with KD fuked Phoenix up in more ways than one because now, they don't even know how to play team basketball anymore.  But even if they did, with this roster it wouldn't make a whole world of difference.

Ideally, an organization would be one that players want to play for, even if you don't bribe (i.e. overpay) them.  That's what the Suns lack.  They have the best graphic designs in the league and something like a winning history but can never establish themselves like the big dogs, the types of franchises that old, valuable vets believe they can win a championship with.

SACRAMENTO KINGS: C-

The Kings are easily the most obscure franchise in the NBA.  They're so bad that even lineups that look almost perfect on paper end up falling to the bottom of the standings.

It's so bad that now the keys of the car are being handed to a #5 draft pick even though, you know, guys like Sabonis - arguably the best pure PF in the league - are still around.  And I'm like, don't put too much pressure on the kid.  In order to turn this sh*tshow around, he'd have to be an all-time great.  Lebron could come to this team, and they'd still suck.

CONCLUSION

There doesn't appear to be much noteworthy going on here.  The Pacific boasts an admirable level of celebrity.  But I mean, if the closest you appear to having a contender is the Lakers, that's not really anything to brag about.